The Language of Love

Happy 1st February woo!

I thought it would be very fitting to start of this month with the topic of ‘Love Languages’


 

Do you know your love language? The concept of “love languages” has been the talk of the town some time now. Developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., a renowned marriage therapist and author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, the love languages are designed to help you and bae love each other better. Sounds like the kind of class you want to sign up for, no?

“Working with couples, Chapman noticed them coming in reporting not feeling loved by their partner,” says Rebecca Hendrix, an integrative holistic psychotherapist in New York. “Upon further investigation he learned they both were loving their partner in a certain ‘love language,’ and when they didn’t feel love coming back in the same language, they felt unloved.”

 

The five love languages are:

Words of Affirmation: 

This language is all about vocally affirming your loved ones, showering them with compliments and praises. Think lot’s of “I love you” “You’re so awesome,” “I’m so proud of you,” or “You’re looking like a snack.”

Acts of Service:

For some people; including myself, actions speak louder than words. Instead of having a partner gush about their love, people with this love language would show it by volunteering to do a chore, offering up a massage, or making dinner.

Receiving Gifts:

Gifts are another way to the heart. It’s not necessarily about splashing the cash. Even small gifts like picking up a favourite magazine at the store or bringing home a partner’s favourite KA drink can speak volumes.

Quality Time: 

For some lovers, getting undivided attention is the best gift of all. People with this love language feel most loved when their partner puts their phone down or on silent and gives their partner their undying attention. With some cheeky cuddles

Physical Touch: 

Pretty self explanatory. Sometimes nothing says I love you like holding hands, a sensual massage,  sharing a shower, or a good old-fashioned kissy session.


WHAT’S MY LOVE LANGUAGE?

To figure out which category you fall into, ask yourself when you feel most loved in your relationship. Is it when your partner sends you a lovely text? When they prioritise spending the whole Saturday with you and not with the guys watching football?

Make a list of the top three things your partner does that make you feel all fuzzy inside and ask your partner to do the same thing. “You will probably start to notice a pattern,” says Hendrix

 

 

Here are some tips from Gary Chapman in the “The Five Love Languages”

 

 

Words of Affirmation:
Let me express myself without agreeing or punishing
Let me know about your day
Tell me about when you feel proud of me and why
Tell me how you feel, your intimate thoughts
Tell me when you like the way I look.
Talk directly to me about your feelings – don’t get nervous

Giving / Receiving Gifts:
Flowers
Small surprise gifts
Buy me my favourite magazine

Quality Time:
Come home for dinner together
Plan time to be alone with me
Focus on what I’m saying – rather than being distracted when I talk
Read a relationship book with me
Make weekend plans with me
Be protective of our time together

Acts of Service:
Groom yourself in preparing for time together
Do one of my regular household chores
Do tasks around the home

Physical Touch:
Spend more with being affectionate
Tell me more about what pleases you sexually
Show me affection that doesn’t lead to sex
Hold me when I’m upset
Give me a back rub
Give me a foot massage

 

Hope these love tips help

J

X

 

 

 

 

 

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